I have the feeling that I still have to express myself in some way, I am unfinished. I want to bloom before I wither. It can be said that I set out on a journey, partly because I needed to find out more about myself, to try to fulfil myself during this journey.
If I tell you Unfinished what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
Myself, honestly. I have the feeling that I still have to express myself in some way, I am unfinished. I want to bloom before I wither. It can be said that I set out on a journey, partly because I needed to find out more about myself, to try to fulfil myself during this journey. Some tell me that I would have felt fulfilled if I had become a wife and a mother, but I am convinced that it would never have been the right path for me.
If I think of an object, a work of art, something that is unfinished, it makes me think of something that someone has to finish working on, to focus on it again, to dedicate their time, care and attention to it.
Unfinished what colour/shape is it?
Dark blue, midnight blue, indigo, the colour of aspirations. It makes me think of a circle that is missing a piece, a cake that is missing a slice.
Is there something you have left undone in your life?
If I think of the unfinished, I think of the period in which I fell in love with handmade trinkets. And it was alighting in the dark because it came at a very negative and heavy time in my life. I felt I had to do something with my hands and I started with a knitting course which, by chance, made me land on handmade jewellery. And for the first time in my life, at 32, I discovered something that I truly liked (that nor my mom, nor my dad, nor boyfriend suggested to me). Colours, shapes, ways to assemble necklaces, bracelets. I exploded with joy and creativity, I didn’t sleep at night to imagine new pieces, with my head working on how to create them, how to put them together. I did it for a time as a hobby, then I changed my life, I no longer coincided with the person I was before, my energy had changed. In 2009 I wanted to take over a shop, I took courses to learn how to make glass, but unfortunately, I was still too much of a child, and I was blocked by my parents’ judgment, I still didn’t have enough strength and self-esteem. I no longer found the joy in assembling pearls, that creative flow wasn’t there anymore. I managed to sell a lot of things to friends, but I still have a lot of material, even now, here and there. Now while I’m here in Peru, I have fun with portrait painting and I vent my creativity by painting even without having bases, without schools, just out of instinct and curiosity about the result.
I’ve been doing things I didn’t fully enjoy for far too long, I should have let go some of them: I’ve been running schools I didn’t love, jobs I didn’t care about, relationships that weren’t good to me. You get used to so many things, our ability to be elastic and resilient is a great gift but also a double-edged sword.
Is there something unfinished that you would like finished?
As for myself, I would like to be able to fulfil myself, to be able to express that uniqueness that my soul can bring into this world. I will be accomplished when, as if I were a musical instrument playing, I will feel in tune… only once in my life have I felt that I was an instrument that was finally perfectly tuned, a sensation that I have in my body, mind, spirit and which I would like to return to somehow, to be in harmony with myself again, in the best and highest expression of myself. I would like to feel that my actions and creations coincide with what can be my best expression of myself.
If I think of something unfinished, it makes me think of someone who was creating something without finishing it and I feel the pain and frustration of not being able to complete the work for various reasons. It does not occur to me that someone can start work and not finish it if not for an external reason that blocks it or for a deep dissatisfaction, I don’t think it can be by choice, I would not understand why a creative person should leave work unfinished if had the means and possibilities to carry it out.
What is fertilizer for you? What does it mean to fertilize
I feel fertilized by healthy constructive friendships, by new experiences, by learning new things. Curiosity is a great fertilizer, the desire to know more, to learn, to explore.
3 words you would match with unfinished
Sad, broken, still, static.